The Thrice Secret Order of Profound Ignorance

Can there possibly be anything more tedious than an old Freemason, prattling on about ancient secrets of unknown provenance which no one understands? I have wasted so much of my life dealing with these garralous old buffoons; Freemasons, Bonesmen, the whole tin-hatted lot. Don't they know it's the Girl Scouts with the universal ark of alchemical talmudic secrets, and that they practice ungodly ceremonies to their interplanetary God in Area 51? That's where the secret society action is.