Gravity?
Yes, gravity.
Before the British invented gravity in 1687, the world depended on the previous source of mass attraction, invented in 1486 by Antoine Grandpied Marche Fortement, Duc de Groscul, and named L'attraction personnelle profonde, or APP, which was an early gravity precursor.
APP was a simple system that worked through energy waves powered by oral garlic aroma. Or 'le souffle malheureuse'.
APP was very effective for short distances, but frequently subject to breakdowns, causing people to float off at oddly oblique angles and become tangled in tree branches.
L'attraction personnelle profonde was finally replaced by gravity after an angry Frenchman, caught in the branches of Sir Isaac's apple tree, lobbed a weighty bulb of garlic at the English philosopher's head, which knocked Newton unconscious and thereby produced the Enlightenment.
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1 comment:
*guffaws*
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